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The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession :

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees.. I don’t feel threatened. I don’t feel discriminated against. That’s what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn’t bother me a bit when people say, ‘Merry Christmas’ to me. I don’t think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn’t bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a crèche, it’s just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don’t like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don’t think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can’t find it in the Constitution and I don’t like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren’t allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that’s a sign that I’m getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it’s not funny, it’s intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham’s daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her ‘How could God let something like this happen?’ (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, ‘I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we’ve been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out.
How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?’

In light of recent events… terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O’Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn’t want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn’t spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr Spock’s son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he’s talking about. And we said OK.

Now we’re asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don’t know right from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with ‘WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world’s going to hell Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send ‘jokes’ through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you’re not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it… no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don’t sit back and complain about what bad shape the wor ld is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

So I made a fake myspace account. It’s a male myspace account that all my chick friends have access too, and we all use it too add our boyfriends exes to be nosey and look at them and their accounts. Yes I know, we’re women we’re CRAZY AS FUCK! But I told boyfriend this, and he laughed, and didn’t care. See, isn’t he amazing!?

Anyways, one of my friends baby daddy exes posted that article above and I read it. And it just made me really think. Religion fascinates me, different religions they are all different. But for some reason I have always been super hateful on Christians. Why? I celebrate Christmas. I sorta celebrate Easter. Talking about jewish people and their beliefs I am super interested in and find it all cool, same with buddism and such. But any time someone mentions jesus, and god and the bible I get super annoyed and usually angry. I believe in god so why do I get angry? I finally figured it out. It is because of all those reasons listed above. In school, whenever anything religious came up it was looked down upon. I still have a vague memory in 4th grade someone getting in trouble for wanting to lead a prayer before a test. Also, I LOVE THEM TO DEATH, but my family is very non-religious. They sorta frown upon and get annoyed of religion too, so naturally I joined in with them. But when my friends talk about it, sometimes the things they say too me are so right and make me smile and sort of believe in the better of things. I mean again, I don’t believe in the EXACT word of the bible, and recently I read that it is not all supposed to be taken seriously, but I do believe in a god and maybe I should start rethinking some things over. This doesn’t mean I am going to go to church every Sunday or anything, but, it is nice to think someone higher up is looking over me and I can ask for help. Tonight I had also went grocery shopping with my dad. I had went off about how crazy and stupid Palin is (after he had to remark how hot she is). I said how dumb it is that she doesn’t support sex ed in schools and birth control! And he explained to me that everyone has their beliefs and that we need to respect them. Not everyone agrees with my beliefs but people will respect them. Then I just mumbled all of America is going to end up like her slutty 17 year old. But who am I to judge her situation? Long story short, I need to be more accepting of christian and catholic beliefs (no matter how crazy they are) and find the fascination in them.

And also sometimes I want to be jewish still because they have the coolest weedings!

I been watching A LOT of t.v on DVD lately (all due because, I don’t have television). I been noticing a lot of different celebrities that are totally smoking hot, but not recognized because they have guys like Brad Pitt to compete with. But I think these guys are WAY hotter then Brad Pitt.

Here are my top 10 underrated hotties:

#10).

Robert Pattinson played Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter, and will be Edward Cullen in the new Twilight movie opening this year. His accent only makes him hotter, and I think he will be a huge tween star here in America.

#9).

Peter billingsley is WAY sexy. You might remember him as the main boy Ralphie from A Christmas Story! What has he done since then? IDK lol. Some t.v shows i’m sure.

#8).

I have had a thing for Chris Noth since 9th grade. I mean, as Mr. Big in Sex and the City…. he is HOT! I doubt anyone will disagree.

#7).

IDK much about this guy other then he is in the show True Blood and he is SEXY!

#6).

Tori Spelling is so lucky. Im obsessed with their reality shows and I think Dean McDermott is so sexy! He seems like such a genuine nice guy too!

#5).

After reading Tori Spellings book, I decided to try watching 90210 again. I tried wathing it once when I was younger but I just didn’t understand it. Now that I do, wowza Jason Priestly was HOT! He played Brandon Walsh on the series. I think he is still hot to this day!

#4).

Now this one was hard not too put at number one. Jensen Ackles who plays Dean in Supernatural is by far the newest guy to give me girlie goosebumps when I see him! And his bad boy attitude. Grrawr! He is such a beautiful boy why isn’t he in movies with guns and drugs and car stealing?!

#3).

Jeremy Piven is pretty well known. He was the friend in Serendipity and he plays Ari in HBOs Entourage. Something about him being a racy, cocky, jerk who is ALWASY yelling when he talks makes him super sexy too. Everytime I watch that show, I watch it for HIM! He is so beautiful<3

#2).

Okay okay… now I know he IS famous for movies, but I think Ryan Phillippe is SOOO underrated. I mean what all has he been in other then Cruel Intentions and Stop Loss? Yeah pretty much nothing. I was sad when he and Reese got divorced but that only means more room for me to make my move. hahahaha. Please someone get this guy in movie movies!

And MY ULTIMATE NUMBER ONE UNDERRATED HOTTIE IS…..

Someone who is NOT underrated. But being as he is my all time favorite… he is my number one in any hottie category.

Mmmmmm! Hottiest celebrity of ALL TIME!!!! Seriously! He is so hot in bonnie and Clyde and even tho he is old now… i’d still tap that! I love you Warren Beatty!!!

So I was planning on making this an every Sunday thing, buuuuut….. VMAs were on last Sunday and I was waiting in hopes something would annoy me about them…..

and there was.

In fact I have a few annoying celebs at the moment!!! And I have had a rough week so naturally, I’M REALLY ANGRY!!! I’ll save the other annoying ones for THIS sunday!

Lets start with something I don’t really care about, but because i’m angry i’m going to go ahead and complain anyways.

So the VMAs had that Russel Brand dude host. I don’t even know who he is! All I know is….. he is very british.

And he made fun of the Jonas brothers for wearing Purity rings (Which are lame anyways. Do people actually keep promise too those?). And he made a comment blah blah blah.

Then Jordin Sparks has to say not everyone wants to be a slut and not to knock on Purity rings?! Okay Jordin Spraks who put you queen of the rules of what defines a slut or not. So what shes saying is… just because someone has sex it makes him or her (as she stated) a slut?!?!? WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE SOMETHING YOU APPARENTLY HAVEN’T DONE!!!!

Uggggh its just like this girl who was my friend in high school. Overly tan, 5’11 blonde who thought she knew everything. We’ll just call her Blondie. Blondie claimed she wanted to wait until she was married to have sex (and I say claimed because I haven’t talked to her in god knows how long and who knows if she stuck to it. My guess is yes tho). But yet anytime anyone did ANYTHING, whether it be with their boyfriend, someone random, a date, and whether it be just kissing or… other stuff…. she always accused them all of being a slut. “Your a slut, thats so gross, omg you ho.” Talk about annoying.

So hearing Jordin Spraks say that just set my nerves on broil because right away she made me think of Blondie and even just how she said it sounded like her.

Uggh! Okay the guy is a COMEDIAN!!! Would it have been fine if Dave Chappelle had said it instead? Sometimes it seems like SUPER Christian people feel like they have the right too get offended by EVERYTHING! I am offended by what Jordin Sparks said how about that one?!

W/E Jordin Sparks. Be a virgin for your publicity stunt. But I just wanted to say your arms are too big for your head!!!! OH! And your music sucks!!!

LIAR!

So beings that my last few posts were more informative news stories, I have a topic that’s been the itchy scratch for awhile now and I am curious on peoples sides and arguments.

My boyfriend and I got into our first “fight” the other night online (The reason I put quotation marks is because it wasn’t really a fight but more like a high school debate). And usually this would be something to break people up, I know it’s been my dividing point in relationships in the past. The fact that we could work it out and be fine about it only makes me happier that he is so amazing!

Anyways, my topic is the oh-so-overrated topic of

G O D!!!

Now, boyfriend comes from a Christian family, and believes in the word of the bible. He believes god created humans and that Noahs Ark happened and that Jesus walked on water yadda yadda yadda you know the stories.

I on the other hand, do not. I have always been a science type of girl. I believe in the big bang, that humans became Neanderthals and that evolution and natural selection is what has been making our world continue life. And why shouldn’t that be right?

With science, you can actually hold the physical evidence in your hands and study it! We find bones of half human and half monkey remains from so many years ago. So where is Jesus’ proof? For all we know the bible was written by two really drunk guys and it was meant to be taken as a fictional book, but of course someone stumbled upon it, believed it and decided to worship it hence the EVOLUTION of Christians. Look at Harry Potter for sakes! I think there is already a cult out there worshiping it! Who’s not to say in a couple hundred years its a huge religion that people worship and spat over?

Boyfriend: “Well how come they found fish bones up on top of some mountains and salt water in the snow?”

Me: “Because alot of continents used to be underwater and when two plates collide the push the earth up and form mountains.”

Boyfriend: “Then how come the Turkish government wont let anyone up there and are keeping under guard?”

Me: “Because it’s a conspiracy like Area 51.”

Am I not correct on that one?

Me: “Well if god believes in love everybody and treat them fairly, why did he allow the Nazis to kill millions of people? And what about the crusaders they did it in the name of god! Why did he allow such a thing?”

Boyfriend: “Well then they weren’t real Christians were they? They are probably burning in hell right now?”

Again, am I not right? If god were watching and not happy wouldn’t he sit up on his big cloud and smitten the Nazis with lightning for giving him a bad name? And what about the genocides right now? Thats not very fair and it’s been going on for years.

Me: “Okay so there is NO WAY Noahs Ark could have happened? Why did he pick 2 of every animal, and Noah, and drowned the whole world!? Thats not very nice.”

Boyfriend: “Because he wanted to basically cleanse the earth and rid all evil and Noah was the most devoted and worshiper of God.”

……what?…..

Boyfriend: “April if god didn’t exist we as humans wouldn’t know right from wrong, good from evil. We’d just be animals.”

Me: “Yes we would! It’s just part of human nature that we have evolved into! Just like Animals know how to take control of packs and hunt for food and migrate and know not too attack their own kind unless they are causing problems.”

Like Scar on Lion King! He was evil and they attacked! =] lol. Also aren’t Dolphins like, geting reall smart now? They might be the next kind of humans! Water humans or something. -gasp- OOOO Mermaids!!!

We went on for over an hour debating this and the length of the conversation could have been a days length or writing! I wish I had it all but I don’t want to give away too much. I WILL say he did have a few good points on stuff. There was one thing that really triggered me but I forgot what it was. I’m a horrible person I know.

So I am curious on other peoples P.O.V on this topic. Religion is def intressting. I just really hate crazy people who think t.v, and getting your period is wrong (They are out there). Or the ones who protest soldiers funerals because they say its gods punishment or something.

MY MAIN view on god and stuff tho…. I don’t want to say I COMPLETELY don’t believe in him. I mean it’s nice to believe there is a higher power out there somewhere.

I think to think god WAS the big bang that created everything. And he looks like a clump of starts and sounds like a computer, like the god Bender meets in Futurama. Maybe the world is just a Dungeons and Dragons map and he likes to pick things up once in awhile and paint their silver pants blue (AKA, change genetic coding ALLOWING us to evolve).

I just don’t understand how people can believe in Adam and Eve and Noahs Ark and Jesus walking on water and parting the sea. I mean, thats just too much Criss Angel Shit for me to handle (Also I think it was moses that parted the sea haha). I mean if Adam and Eve were the only two people, then, we’d all be super deformed wouldn’t we be?

So while listening to the GREATEST morning radio talk show ever (Dave Ryan on KDWB) I had heard on their front page news that David Duchovny was going to rehab.

For being a sex addict.

And why shouldn’t he be a sex addict?! I mean he WAS after all on the ultimate nerd show, and I bet hawt nerdy girls were just throwing themselves at him! Probably wanting to do a Scully and Mulder role play scenario.

But thats besides the point. My point is a girl actually called in and told her story of being a sex addict and I was in complete shock! I mean I thought saying “i’m a sex addict” was just a guys get out of jail free card for really saying “I been cheating on you”. All guys like sex, and when they are busted haven’t we all heard that same excuse? “I’m sorry honey, I tripped and my penis fell into her vagina and then it was stuck so I was trying to wiggle as fast as I could to try to loosen it out.”

Okay no not that one.

“I’m sorry i’m a sex addict I have been since I lost my virginity.”

Kanye West admitted this awhile back, Now David Duchovny and also I think there are some (many?) politicians who also admitted this.

Anyways, too me its always been guys admitting they are sex addicts and it always made me roll my eyes because again, isn’t it just an excuse?

Now this girl who called in and told her story I found interesting. One, because it was a girl. Two, because I couldn’t believe the things she was doing just to have sex. This women was about 25 years old and married. Her husband has no idea but since she was about 13 she has been inviting guys from the internet over to have sex. And it’s not like they sit around drinking tea and get to know one another. No she said she didn’t know a lot of their names, they would knock on the door and they would litterly just start right there in the doorway. And once it was over the guy would be off on his marry way. She confessed to sleeping with at least 60 guys since it all started and that the need happens where ever she was. Work, shopping, in-laws house. What she explained I totally understood the feeling too. The adrenaline rush people crave.

Now I don’t understand what she mean because I am an addict by any means (faaar from it!). But the need for that adrenaline rush. I used to be a major shop lifter with a few of my friends who shall remain nameless. My friend showed me how to do it right after I turned 16 and trust me, she was GOOD! She stole her prom dress one year even! It was the scariest thing ever but it was like being on a roller coaster only 10x better. I stopped as soon as I turned 18 because I didn’t want to get serious charges pressed against me, but I still had that adrenaline need. Luckily, I get that need from theater =] Soooo much safer.

My conclusion to this is that I guess sex addiction is a real thing. I will give some guys a little credit because I’m sure they speak out about it a lot more then girls do. Maybe they need to do what I did, and find something safer too get their adrenaline kick. Because sex addicts= herpes.

So what do they do in rehab? That’s what I am curious about. What is David D. doing RIGHT NOW at this very moment? Do they make him have sex with everyone to teach them a lesson just like parents used to make their kids smoke an entire pack of cigs when they caught them smoking in the first place? Or did our society finally learn that doesn’t work?

I found the 12 steps (how original) for SAA.

  1. We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior – that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.

Seems super religious if you ask me…. lots of help from god hmmmm?….. well no wonder we have so many sex addicts!

I think “god” has more important things to take care of then sex addicts. Like curing cancer, pooling his money on the olympics and banging Nancy. (For all we know god is a sex addict, after all we are all gods children…? Right?)

So here comes the fun part. Lets see if YOU’RE a sex addict! Just take this quiz I found on the website, and if you answer yes to more then one, apparently you are supposed to seek help immedetly!

  1. Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
  2. Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose?
  3. Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media?
  4. Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems?
  5. Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?
  6. Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality, such that you avoid touching your body or engaging in sexual relationships? Do you fear that you have no sexual feelings, that you are asexual?
  7. Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship?
  8. Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief?
  9. Have you ever been arrested or are you in danger of being arrested because of your practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, sex with minors, indecent phone calls, etc.?
  10. Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?
  11. Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?
  12. Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?

Annoying Celebrity

So in todays “Most annoying celebrity of the week”, I would like to thank Sean “P.Diddy” Combs for being by far one of the most selfish celebrity.

Diddy, formally known as Puffy Daddy, is becoming the male version of Oprah. Not only is he very successful with multi hit albums, but he has his own clothing line, perfum line, he has starred in movies, helped produce movies, has helped “make the bands” (Danity Kane), has his own t.v show to get his own damn assistant, and thanks to him, Burger King is now open later. All because Diddy said so!

Thank god! I was getting sick of McDonalds at 1 A.M!

Thank god! I was getting sick of McDonalds at 1 A.M!

So you’d think someone as successful as Diddy would be a lot more charitable. I mean come on, the guy has got to have money coming out the ying-yang! And Oprah opened a freakin school in Africa with her money!

But no, instead, thanks to trusty yahoo, I have to read a story about Diddy being angry on gas prices. Now you might think sure, who wouldn’t be angry about gas prices? But when he is BEGGING for free oil because he is NOT happy to fly commercial! I mean… seriously! “Oh waa i’m P-fucking-diddy and I ACTUALLY have to fly on a plane with PEOPLE!? What if there are too many people and I sweat? Then my beautiful face might break out and I will have to pay hundreds of dollars to air brush out any pimples. What if one of them touches me? I might get cooties! Please don’t put me on commercial airline! Peace to my saudia arabia homies!”

No Puff, your saudia arabia home slices don’t want to send you any free oil.

I have a great idea, how about you fly commercial all the time, and oh, IDK, maybe donate some of those $100s you use to wipe your ass with to a good cause?

So thank you Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs, for being the most selfish, and annoying celebrity of the week. With out you, I wouldn’t have any juicy celebrity gossip.

Okay, so I am totally new to this whole…. blogging thing. I mean sure I would write a couple random stuff on myspace once in awhile, but, lets all face it, myspace isn’t cool anymore. Thanks too my brother, and the twix commercial where that guy is totally scamming on some chick and brings up blogging to save his ass, I suddenly have this urge to write about my nonsense, hiliarity ensuring problems that maybe 2 people will actually care to read about. Lets start with the basic…

Boys.

I wont bore you with anything big, but I just want to point out how annoying some guys are and how awesome I am at making people angry. This is a random conversation I had with this guy on Facebook chat (which is a crappy error infested application I might add). Lets call him John (not his real name for obvious reasons). Now John has been bugging me for sometime now. He often sends me messages wanting to hang out, and every time, I roll my eyes and have to reply with the same answer. “I have a boyfriend.” For some reason, he is convinced that I will “fall” for him so fast and that I don’t need this boyfriend of mine. Now this guy only has about 4 pictures on his facebook and in every single one he is showing his abs or flexing and holding the camera up so the flash doesn’t BLANK out his physique. I sent my boyfriend this guys conversation and he couldn’t believe the things this guy was saying. I wish I had the first conversations, but, here is the one from tonight:

John: hey! what u doin tonight? wanna see a movie?
April: its kinda late
John: damnit! i thought it was way earlier! well what r u up to?
April: Nothing
John: wanna do somethin?
April: lol, no I have a boyfriend
John: i know this! silly
April: but the fact that you’re trying to “get with me” would only make hanging out weird
John: no it wouldnt cuz we’d just hang out…then after u fall for me… haha it’ll be fun
April: wouldn’t happen, dating someone or not
John: how can u say it wouldnt?
April:And why would you try too break two perfectly happy people up? how shallow are you?
John: am i not cute enough? im not trying anything lil missy! so simer down!
April: yes you are. you even said last time
John: ya well your hot… and i wanted.. so..
we can be friends.. and hang out
April: No, I wouldn’t fall for you because you seem rather immature and arragont and the fact that you take pictures of yourself flashing your abs shows what kind of guy you are
John: haha and what kinda guy am i?
April: Oh you know, the cocky guy who is really loud at parties and tries to play it off like he’s hot shit who can get with any girl he wants when really inside he is just self conscious about his true image and doesn’t know who he is or where he wants to go in life

John: really? im glad you deal with so many guys, and have all of them figured out

April: trust me, most guys have this base attitude and it all falls into place after that
John: but you really have no clue who i m, nor do u have the foggiest clue what i m about, so dont judge because some fucking d-bag ex bf u thought was a good guy, but really wasnt i know exactly where my life is going, and i rarely party, i work my ass off for my life.. and i enjoy it when i can, sorry im proud of my body, hard work pays off sometime but you have a good night, sorry to bother you
April: later

Yes I am a bitch. But come on! Am I not right? I have been to lots of parties, I have talked to a lot of guys on the internet, and I swear to god if they did a study on this at the U of M, they would find those qualities and attitude in guys who have a ton of pictures of their bodies on their social networking profiles. They are all the same.

Also he is very wrong on the “some asshole ex” thing. I still talk to all my exes, and all of them were actually more….. rounder. I mean they weren’t fat but they certainly didn’t have abs! Just beer bellies and Taco Bell babies.

People who try to break other people up are just self conscious with themselves and desperate. Trust me, I was the “other girl” thinking I could break someone up last year. And now, I feel like a bad person for it its just so wrong.

My last topic for today is…

Work.

So after spending many grueling months trying to find a job, I finally got one in mid august! I previously worked as a server at Mansettis in St. Francis. I loved this job, I loved the people, but it just got to be too far of a drive! I was being picky about what kind of job I got so naturally I applied at any possible close serving jobs. My good friend Andrea had informed me that IHop was hiring (Spell Ihop and say ness at the end). She told me about 4 people had just quit, which made my sister and I both a little weary. Ether way, a job is a job! I filled out my app, called the next day and had an interview by the following monday. I was SOO excited because, face it, I have some sorta sweet charming personality. I mean, not to BRAG or anything but I have always gotten every job I interviewed for, and have always got cast in every play I audition for. So even tho I was nervous, I was still very confident.

I went in 8 mins before my interview was scheduled. A server who also happens to be a neighbor of mine sat me down and told me the manager would be right with me.

I waited.

10 mins passed.

I waited.

I started to get really antsy and irritated and had a bad feeling, when finally after 15 mins the manager walked out and introduced himself. I of course shook his hand, put on my best smile and sweetest voice. He then looked at his watch as if he had no time, and looked at me and said, “I have too actually run to the bank, I will be back in a half an hour if you can just wait right here and we can start the interview.”

@#$%-ing,  Sh*t,  C-U-NEXT-TUESDAY…… “Okay not a problem at all!!!” I smiled and sat back down as he walked away. In reality it WAS a problem I still had to get ready for rehearsal which was only a short hour and a half away. But I passed the long 35 minuets entertaining myself by starring at the plain, white wall (I couldn’t decide if it was off white, or more of an egg shell, I never did figure it out ether).

SO FINALLY he came back, and interviewed me and it took about 10 mins tops. He said I had charisma and I was very friendly and had what it takes to work there. I perked up right away. OMG I was getting a job!!

“I would like you to come back for a second interview with another lady. I like to run people by her first we make decisions as a team. See we’re a team here and we work as a team and blah blah blah blah…” Everything he said just floated past me after hearing that I had to do a second interview. Wow cool. A second interview to work at a FREAKIN IHOP!?

So I went in the next day for my second interview. It wasn’t at all very busy. A server who I had my college Spanish class with sat me down at a table and insisted that she make me something to drink. She made me a sparkling cherry lemonade and it was delicious! I tried to drink it slow.

1 1/2 sparkling cherry lemonades later I was getting bored…. Where the eff was this lady? And as if god was reading my thoughts and waiting for me to just think her up she appeared. She introduced herself, and told me she’d be right with me she just had to sort thru some stuff. I figuered it would be another 10 mins or something nothing big.

But no. I KID you not I sat at the table from the time I got there, until the time the lady ACTUALLY sat down to interview me for an hour and 3 mins! (I had a clock right infront of me and I watched it like crazy. I had to be at rehearsal in 45 mins!!! The girl I had spanish with apologized to me and said she was going to go find the interviewer. She came back out, I put on a big fake ass smile and she sat down.

“Oh i’m really sorry I completely forgot about you!”

Wow, bitch you forgot about me!?!? I felt my left eye twitch, but I just kept smiling and made a joke. “Oh I see how it is, already I’m easily forgettable!”

Her and I (mostly her as she kept interrupting me) talked for another 40 mins and she finally told me I had the job because I held her attention long enough. I thanked her, and left very excited. I sped the whole way to rehearsal since I was already late!

NOW, if ALL of that isn’t a sign that everything possible could go wrong with this job then I don’t know what is. I have had a HELLISH past two weeks. But I will save the details for another blog (This ones long, and then at least I am guaranteed something to write about next time! Trust me, it’s pretty interesting.)

Now I would like to end this blog with a hilarious techno dancing viking sent by Eric.