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As you all know, I challenged myself a couple months ago to raise money and participate in the cystic fibrosis Climb for the Cure fundraiser. Well….. I did it. Boo-ya, bitches.

Many people admitted to me “Eh, I figured you were going to bail out of it.” And I wont lie, but I laid in bed the morning of it debating on leaving the comforts of satin pillows and heavy comforters that kept me snug and warm. I starred at my ceiling and took a deep breath…. “NO! My team needs me! And people donated money for me to participate in this event!” Plus it was a fantastic excuse to get caribou and have dilly bars when it was all over.

The experience in its self is hard to explain. I have never done anything like this before, and I was so nervous to do it. What if I couldn’t? What if I died on the 7th floor and everyone laughs and leaves my body there to rot away all weekend? Seems silly to think but I lost two nights of sleep over those kinds of dreams. I love the gym, I love the feeling after a good workout, but lets be honest about the fact that I have NEVER been athletic and I get tired out and discouraged easily.

I showed up bright and early, zoned in on the IDS building that stood above me in the crystal court. It seemed like a long climb, but easily possible. Most of all I was excited to participate with KDWB, I was so nervous to meet the morning show participants, and sure enough when they called for the team to meet them I was completely star struck (most famous people I have ever met lol). To make matters worse on my nerves, I was the ONLY one who showed up on the team! 10 people signed up, and only I showed, which made me instantly happy I went.

Crisco and Intern John are two of the coolest, laid back people I have ever met and I enjoyed hanging out with them! Climbing the stairs was especially fun, and not at all what I expected. When I heard IDS stairs, I was picturing a wide stairwell along side window after window. A bright and sunny set of marble stairs that take you to the top in no time. But no, it was the emergency stair case, made of metal and lit by orange-ish colored lighting. I felt like someone was going to dodge out of a corner and shank me.

I pushed on my way and by the fourth floor, I was already exhausted. Legs went tense, face began to get warm, heart was racing, I didn’t think I could do it. I am so thankful for the people with little cups of water every few floors lol. It proved how out of shape I really still am!

Anyways, getting to the top was a very amazing feeling. Empowering a bit, but I was SO thankful to be there, look down and know I walked up that far by stairs! And all for a good cause! My very first fundraising event complete.

I spent the past week looking for other fundraisers to do. I am enrolled to do the Polar Plunge, planning on participating with U.S Bank for the heart walk, and was also suggested to do the gray ghost run in October. All for good causes, but I also thought, what is a cause I am personally passionate about. Although all fundraisers need help and I am happy to make a difference, what is something life changing to me?

Well, duh, a melanoma fundraising event! I am personally affected by the loss of my only brother from melanoma, so it’s only natural that I would want to raise money so others don’t suffer what my family did. I began my google process immediately, only to discover that there is no fundraising event in Minnesota! The only one I could find was a run in New York.

This, my dear friends, is something that needs to change. So I thought about it… it’s going to be a lot of work, but with help and motivation, I would like to organzie a charity event (i.e a run or a climb, golf tournament, something) to raise money for Melanoma research and families suffering from it.

Think about it…. Susan G Komen started this way, the climb for the cure did, polar plunge, all charities started when someone was really passionate about something! I want to bring that awareness to MN in honor of Tim. It may not happen this year, and it may not get big for years to come, but I am determined to make.this.happen.

Bring on the new challenges 2011. I am ready for you!

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The Challenge

         Salutations and seasons greetings to you 5 people who read my blog!

         I know it has been quite some time since my last post, but lack of internet makes writing difficult!

         It is a mildly chilly morning of -7 degrees, and I decided writing needs to be done. This one is simple tho my friends. Short, sweet, and mostly in need of your help!

         While Christmas fastly approches, it becomes apparent how difficult it will be this year. First set of holidays sans The Tim Gage (although I have this eerie feeling he has been hanging around lately!), and the tradition of gifts, egg nog, board games and all around holiday laughter will be lacking a bit. I have adjusted my mind set to the fact that my big brother wont be around, which is hard, but I began to awknowlege the kind of things other people are missing out on, and simple selfless things that can be done.

         Lets start with the fact that I still been thinking about the kind of person I am. I can openly admit I am a selfish person, but I would like to change that. December is all about helping others by donating toys, clothes, toothbrushes, hats, mittens, food, etc. BUT, what about the other 11 months? There are many other charities that need year around help! Battered women don’t just get battered in December, children aren’t just parentless in December, people don’t die of cancer nor are children born with a birth defects, just in December.

        With this in mind, I once again thought about what a giving person my brother was. Maybe not to charities, but he was beyond helpful to his family and friends. I think about all the times he bought me gifts, food, took me to see plays, drove my 14 year old girlfriends and I to the movies and more. He always made sure the people he loved were taken care of. Well, I will make more of an effort to make sure my family is taken care of, but I thought about other families who need help with that! I officially want to put myself out there more to help others.

         This my friends, is where I need your help!!!

          I joined the KDWB team for “Climb for the Cure”. It’s challenging, exciting, and all for a good cause. Team Crisco wants to raise $1500.00 for Cystic Fibrosis via funraising and donations. The Challenge: an enduring climb up the IDS stairs, all 1280 of them, on February 5th 2010. I am also looking for others who would like to donate their time in walking those stairs with me. Training will be have to be done before hand, but I figure it’s an excuse to REALLY force myself back at lifetime fitness (my ass…..is going to look FANTASTIC!). I made a personal goal of trying to raise $300.00. The minimum is $150.00 but I would really like to challenge myself on this one.

         If people could donate i’d be VERY greatful. I am also planning on fundraisers, and if anyone has any fundraising ideas, or could donate some of their companies profits one day (i.e. the beer sales of that day from a bar) or know their work would gladly help in taking in donations and hanging up peoples names, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

        I am really looking forward in doing this and pushing myself in helping others who have harder times then some of us fortunate. Thanks to everyone, as you would really be making my holidays by helping me do this!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Please Visit Here —> http://www.cff.org/LWC/dsp_DonationPage.cfm?idEvent=15164&idUser=434760

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I Heart Single

Spring is here!

Birds are chirping, deer are humping, and the facebook newsfeed is FULL of relationship changes! It is the time of the year when people start to realize they don’t want to be fucking alone, so they have to quick settle for someone until about mid-June.

As for me, I Heart Single.

This is not one of those pitty loves ether.  You know, the kind where you are the only single at a table of couples giving ‘poor you looks’ and you feel you must quick explain “but I love the single life”.  No no, this is, thanks to facebook creepin and the crying sounds of relationship distress from friends, a love that makes me feel fluttery. The fact that I love myself and doing what (and whom) I want.

I had a relationship months back, and I can safely admit now that it wasn’t much of anything but lustful feelings for someone who paid attention to me when I had self esteem issues. At the time, nothing felt more embarrassing to me then being broken up with, and only later to discover he was with another chick quickly. Was I heartbroken, or was I feeling ashamed for being 20 and single?

I feel like girls in todays society have the hardest time. I’m not trying to be all feminist and GIRL POWER by any means. We all are having hard times, but the expectations on women now days are stressful to the maximum. Men still have the same….get a job….support a family….make money. But as a female, we have to wear our hair right, and keep it healthy, wear the right amount of makeup (can’t be too much or too little), have cute pants, skirts, capris, shorts, tanktops, sweaters, bras, lace panties. Then there are shoes…..flats, sneakers, heels, wedges. We are expected to go to college now (can’t rely on NO MAN to support you -finger snap-), get a high paying job, have our own car. Seems pretty standard for now days….but there are so many guys out there who still 100% expect women to have that AND know how to sew torn clothes, cook dinner every night, wake up with the kids every morning to get them ready, keep the house clean and maintain a healthy weight.  ALL of this, expected out of one women and if you are 20-something, and single, you are quit possibly almost a spinster.

What the....?! I was just trying to look up funny cat photos! Go away!

This is where I heart single. I started going to the gym to maintain the healthy weight, I started cooking for myself, spending the money I have to concentrate so hard on to earn on me and only me. Being in a relationship is a lot of work and stress! I learned that quickly from my friends who message me on a daily basis about todays issue;

“He is always busy and doesn’t have any time to spend with me and I am so depressed about it!”

“He left me because he expects me to cook and clean and he wont even let me go to school!”

“She’s just going to cheat on me anyway…. she wont even give me a b.j…..”

“He never wakes up with the baby, he forced me to quit my job, and now he is breaking up with me because I don’t have a job!”

I’m telling you….the problems my friends have with their relationships are enough to keep Gloria Allred busy.

I just think it’s so sad that we get this one life, and so many people are freaked on what others will think about them if they are single, or that they have to find THE ONE while in college. Altho it is very sweet, and romantic, hearing that story of meeting her husband of 80 years at college from old biddy Eunice, it’s so unrealistic. And if you do meet someone at college, how many of those people stay married and happy for long? You meet someone when you are 20…spend all of your time with them and then you spend the rest of your life with them!? That is way to long for me.

These are the reasons why I am taking a better approach. Screw the looking for someone. I will be 21 in one week, and I will only be 21 once. This is the time in my life to have fun, be young and beautiful, meet new people and worry about me and me only. I don’t want to worry about what boyfriend John Doe wants to eat for dinner. I don’t want to worry about what baby needs (too many young mothers, but I will save that rant for another time). I want to go out, dance my butt off and not worry about the boyfriend being angry about it at home. I want to spend quality time with my friends and gossip without having boyfriend there to pout because he isn’t as close with them.  I want to worry about who I will be, where I will be going, and be responsible for nothing but what is sitting right here in front of me.

I Heart Single.

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Changes.

It’s been two years since my last post. Two long years that have changed my very living, my heart and my soul. These two years have changed who I am today, who I will become and how my one life I get to live will be lived. The once 19 year old girl who started writing here is now a completely different 21 year old women. Completely different, but still trapped in a haze of “Who Am I?”.  The blog “The Real April Rayne” is going for a completely different feel now.  I wont hold back any info, and maybe together we can figure out who the real April Rayne Gage is.

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Aprils Top 10 Underrated Hotties

I been watching A LOT of t.v on DVD lately (all due because, I don’t have television). I been noticing a lot of different celebrities that are totally smoking hot, but not recognized because they have guys like Brad Pitt to compete with. But I think these guys are WAY hotter then Brad Pitt.

Here are my top 10 underrated hotties:

#10).

Robert Pattinson played Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter, and will be Edward Cullen in the new Twilight movie opening this year. His accent only makes him hotter, and I think he will be a huge tween star here in America.

#9).

Peter billingsley is WAY sexy. You might remember him as the main boy Ralphie from A Christmas Story! What has he done since then? IDK lol. Some t.v shows i’m sure.

#8).

I have had a thing for Chris Noth since 9th grade. I mean, as Mr. Big in Sex and the City…. he is HOT! I doubt anyone will disagree.

#7).

IDK much about this guy other then he is in the show True Blood and he is SEXY!

#6).

Tori Spelling is so lucky. Im obsessed with their reality shows and I think Dean McDermott is so sexy! He seems like such a genuine nice guy too!

#5).

After reading Tori Spellings book, I decided to try watching 90210 again. I tried wathing it once when I was younger but I just didn’t understand it. Now that I do, wowza Jason Priestly was HOT! He played Brandon Walsh on the series. I think he is still hot to this day!

#4).

Now this one was hard not too put at number one. Jensen Ackles who plays Dean in Supernatural is by far the newest guy to give me girlie goosebumps when I see him! And his bad boy attitude. Grrawr! He is such a beautiful boy why isn’t he in movies with guns and drugs and car stealing?!

#3).

Jeremy Piven is pretty well known. He was the friend in Serendipity and he plays Ari in HBOs Entourage. Something about him being a racy, cocky, jerk who is ALWASY yelling when he talks makes him super sexy too. Everytime I watch that show, I watch it for HIM! He is so beautiful<3

#2).

Okay okay… now I know he IS famous for movies, but I think Ryan Phillippe is SOOO underrated. I mean what all has he been in other then Cruel Intentions and Stop Loss? Yeah pretty much nothing. I was sad when he and Reese got divorced but that only means more room for me to make my move. hahahaha. Please someone get this guy in movie movies!

And MY ULTIMATE NUMBER ONE UNDERRATED HOTTIE IS…..

Someone who is NOT underrated. But being as he is my all time favorite… he is my number one in any hottie category.

Mmmmmm! Hottiest celebrity of ALL TIME!!!! Seriously! He is so hot in bonnie and Clyde and even tho he is old now… i’d still tap that! I love you Warren Beatty!!!

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Annoying Celeb Part Deux

So I was planning on making this an every Sunday thing, buuuuut….. VMAs were on last Sunday and I was waiting in hopes something would annoy me about them…..

and there was.

In fact I have a few annoying celebs at the moment!!! And I have had a rough week so naturally, I’M REALLY ANGRY!!! I’ll save the other annoying ones for THIS sunday!

Lets start with something I don’t really care about, but because i’m angry i’m going to go ahead and complain anyways.

So the VMAs had that Russel Brand dude host. I don’t even know who he is! All I know is….. he is very british.

And he made fun of the Jonas brothers for wearing Purity rings (Which are lame anyways. Do people actually keep promise too those?). And he made a comment blah blah blah.

Then Jordin Sparks has to say not everyone wants to be a slut and not to knock on Purity rings?! Okay Jordin Spraks who put you queen of the rules of what defines a slut or not. So what shes saying is… just because someone has sex it makes him or her (as she stated) a slut?!?!? WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE SOMETHING YOU APPARENTLY HAVEN’T DONE!!!!

Uggggh its just like this girl who was my friend in high school. Overly tan, 5’11 blonde who thought she knew everything. We’ll just call her Blondie. Blondie claimed she wanted to wait until she was married to have sex (and I say claimed because I haven’t talked to her in god knows how long and who knows if she stuck to it. My guess is yes tho). But yet anytime anyone did ANYTHING, whether it be with their boyfriend, someone random, a date, and whether it be just kissing or… other stuff…. she always accused them all of being a slut. “Your a slut, thats so gross, omg you ho.” Talk about annoying.

So hearing Jordin Spraks say that just set my nerves on broil because right away she made me think of Blondie and even just how she said it sounded like her.

Uggh! Okay the guy is a COMEDIAN!!! Would it have been fine if Dave Chappelle had said it instead? Sometimes it seems like SUPER Christian people feel like they have the right too get offended by EVERYTHING! I am offended by what Jordin Sparks said how about that one?!

W/E Jordin Sparks. Be a virgin for your publicity stunt. But I just wanted to say your arms are too big for your head!!!! OH! And your music sucks!!!

LIAR!

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Sex Addicts Anonymous?

So while listening to the GREATEST morning radio talk show ever (Dave Ryan on KDWB) I had heard on their front page news that David Duchovny was going to rehab.

For being a sex addict.

And why shouldn’t he be a sex addict?! I mean he WAS after all on the ultimate nerd show, and I bet hawt nerdy girls were just throwing themselves at him! Probably wanting to do a Scully and Mulder role play scenario.

But thats besides the point. My point is a girl actually called in and told her story of being a sex addict and I was in complete shock! I mean I thought saying “i’m a sex addict” was just a guys get out of jail free card for really saying “I been cheating on you”. All guys like sex, and when they are busted haven’t we all heard that same excuse? “I’m sorry honey, I tripped and my penis fell into her vagina and then it was stuck so I was trying to wiggle as fast as I could to try to loosen it out.”

Okay no not that one.

“I’m sorry i’m a sex addict I have been since I lost my virginity.”

Kanye West admitted this awhile back, Now David Duchovny and also I think there are some (many?) politicians who also admitted this.

Anyways, too me its always been guys admitting they are sex addicts and it always made me roll my eyes because again, isn’t it just an excuse?

Now this girl who called in and told her story I found interesting. One, because it was a girl. Two, because I couldn’t believe the things she was doing just to have sex. This women was about 25 years old and married. Her husband has no idea but since she was about 13 she has been inviting guys from the internet over to have sex. And it’s not like they sit around drinking tea and get to know one another. No she said she didn’t know a lot of their names, they would knock on the door and they would litterly just start right there in the doorway. And once it was over the guy would be off on his marry way. She confessed to sleeping with at least 60 guys since it all started and that the need happens where ever she was. Work, shopping, in-laws house. What she explained I totally understood the feeling too. The adrenaline rush people crave.

Now I don’t understand what she mean because I am an addict by any means (faaar from it!). But the need for that adrenaline rush. I used to be a major shop lifter with a few of my friends who shall remain nameless. My friend showed me how to do it right after I turned 16 and trust me, she was GOOD! She stole her prom dress one year even! It was the scariest thing ever but it was like being on a roller coaster only 10x better. I stopped as soon as I turned 18 because I didn’t want to get serious charges pressed against me, but I still had that adrenaline need. Luckily, I get that need from theater =] Soooo much safer.

My conclusion to this is that I guess sex addiction is a real thing. I will give some guys a little credit because I’m sure they speak out about it a lot more then girls do. Maybe they need to do what I did, and find something safer too get their adrenaline kick. Because sex addicts= herpes.

So what do they do in rehab? That’s what I am curious about. What is David D. doing RIGHT NOW at this very moment? Do they make him have sex with everyone to teach them a lesson just like parents used to make their kids smoke an entire pack of cigs when they caught them smoking in the first place? Or did our society finally learn that doesn’t work?

I found the 12 steps (how original) for SAA.

  1. We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior – that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.

Seems super religious if you ask me…. lots of help from god hmmmm?….. well no wonder we have so many sex addicts!

I think “god” has more important things to take care of then sex addicts. Like curing cancer, pooling his money on the olympics and banging Nancy. (For all we know god is a sex addict, after all we are all gods children…? Right?)

So here comes the fun part. Lets see if YOU’RE a sex addict! Just take this quiz I found on the website, and if you answer yes to more then one, apparently you are supposed to seek help immedetly!

  1. Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
  2. Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose?
  3. Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media?
  4. Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems?
  5. Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?
  6. Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality, such that you avoid touching your body or engaging in sexual relationships? Do you fear that you have no sexual feelings, that you are asexual?
  7. Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship?
  8. Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief?
  9. Have you ever been arrested or are you in danger of being arrested because of your practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, sex with minors, indecent phone calls, etc.?
  10. Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?
  11. Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?
  12. Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?

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