Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for November, 2008

So there is this rumor going around that I decided to start.  The water in Anoka has something in it. Only I am pretty sure it is true. Why? I got my reasons!

Everyone is pregnant or engaged. At first it was lots of high school girls getting pregnant, and I could only conclude that it was the new cookies at Anoka High school (They went from giant, delicious and moist to small, hard and wtf is that?)

But now, a year and a half after I have graduated, not only is there a handful of girls who I still remember playing four square with in elementry school having babies (Or already had them), but suddenly, everyones engaged too! Is there a memo I missed? Do these people know something I don’t? Is the world ending soon?

There is a GIANT handful of 19/20 year old girls I graduated with engaged, and at first, I didn’t care. Thats their lives. Its none of my business. But in TWO days, I was informed of people I was close to or knew getting engaged. On monday, one of my best friends dropped to me that she was now engaged. We saw it coming, and I actually reallllllly didn’t want her to say yes and spent some time trying to make her realize that it MIGHT not be her best idea. Whatever, she said yes, I was confused and a little dazed by it, still, nothing I can do. And then on tuesday, a girl whom I still adore and was once in a show with tells me she is ALSO engaged.

…….huh?

Here is my favorite part. Both her and my best friend haven’t been with the guys or KNOWN them for even a year. Now I shouldn’t judge, love does crazy things and it blinds people and blah blah blah and it could work out for them but….. what is the rush?

Oh! Then another friend drops the word to me that his ex boyfriend is engaged. I don’t REALLY know him at all, but when he told me that on the same day I began banging my head into the keyboard.

My favorite gay man imed me also, he just started seeing someone and right away says….

Gaysian: “AHHH!! I’m SO EXCITED!!!”

Me: “I swear to god, if you are engaged, next time I work I WILL put a pizza cutter to my throat and just have someone do my dirty work, I swear to god gaysian!”

Gaysian: “No, the girls are throwing an ugly Christmas sweater party!”

Oh…. well… yay! lol. Thank god. (P.S hes not even asian but we call him gaysian haha).

What I am trying to get at is… well I don’t know how to put it into words. I am jealous to the max, but then I am not. I in no way shape or form, by all means, want to get married right now. But, with everyone getting engaged they are making me feel like that sad, pathetic old lady in the 1900s who has never been married and everyone just avoids for that reason. I feel like suddenly I am behind in life, and I SHOULDN’T have to feel like that at 19!!! But I do…..

I work two/three days a week as a small time waitress. I don’t go to school, I don’t have my own car, I don’t have my own place, my own husband or my own kids. And technically I shouldn’t have that stuff (except maybe a car. And school) but everyone I know has all of it and I am extremely jealous. Suddenly I am looking at rings at the mall jewelry store wondering when it will happen for me. The last few times I have walked to work its left me with a long time to stare at the passing houses on the lake and wonder if I will have a home on a lake, with a swing set in the backyard and a screened in patio where I will hold bbqs in the summer with family and friends.

I have so much life to live and I shouldn’t be thinking like this, I wish people would stop making me feel like I need to rush my life. I wish I didn’t feel this way. We’re young and we should be having fun. Underage drinking, driving with the windows down to crappy music, drinking our energy drinks and eating candy because we have high metabolisms right now. We should be going to the clubs or having bonfires and flirting and spending our money on pointless crap. But apparently everyone is in such a hurry to grow up.

But to be nice, best of luck to ALLLL those engaged 20 year olds.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »